“The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love” ~ Hubert H. Humphrey
Photo Credit: sunnyskyz.com
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It's inevitable; you're standing in line for tickets at the Iowa State Fair when your husband casually mentions he saw a friend with her new family. Someone you were once close with
So the two of you fumble into stilted small talk about what you're going to have for lunch, while you try not to stare. Y our mind is racing with a million thoughts. She looks so pretty with dark hair. Does her daughter like her new teaching job? She's a stepmom to little ones now; how's it really going? You've missed her. How's her heart? Should you say hi?
And before you realize it, the moment has passed, and they've been swallowed by the sea of people
— — —
There are seasons you re-connect with a friend who seems to stand for everything you do. She's fighting the same battles, struggling with the same noose. You grow close. You share sweaters, wine, hot tubs, and memories. Your mothers gather to pray for your futures. Your fathers close their eyes and try not to look
And then she makes a permanent change in her life that you have to accept
It's a great change for her, and she's happy. And you're kind of bummed
If there's anything in my life that's proven ambiguous, it's friendship. I've found it hard in that we all want a great friend, but that means we have to be a great friend. All of which requires a) time and b) effort; neither of which we have a surplus of
During those years of re-connection, my time and effort quota was earmarked for a) teenagers, b) trying to unwind myself from an unfortunate marriage, and c) keeping my career afloat. Although not necessarily in that order and at any given time a and b were both on a downward slide (at best)
Where did friendship fit? Not a casual acquaintance, but the really great kind straight out of the movies. Where you find yourself sitting at a diner at 2 am, crying into your cold cups of coffee? Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever have the movie kind; but with her, I really did wish for something better than good
I'd catch myself thinking that (perhaps) it was likely if we kept moving in that general direction. If we kept texting each other weird memes, swapping recipes, and living vicariously, maybe one day we'd wind up at the diner
Baby steps, I thought.
— — —
At an NA meeting once I heard the story of two strangers who'd survived rehab together.
After years of hardcore drug use, neither of their bodies were in good shape. Their faces were haggard and gray, track marks lined their arms. But the women were grateful for their lives and had bonded over their shared gratitude. They believed it was their scars and experiences had made them beautiful
They'd become the best of friends
But then, years later, one woman married a man who gifted her reconstructive surgery. She no longer wanted the scars, the struggle, the memories of a life that once was. She just wanted a new face to match her new life
Her friend couldn't look at her the same
They grew apart
In those brief moments of trying not to stare, I knew she's still the same on the inside. Or at least, I think she is
But her life looks different, and her words sound different, and it's just that sometimes people change the very things you once loved about them most
— —
When it happens, when someone you love decides to pursue something that changes them at the core, you can do one of two things, I suppose: a) talk it through and wish her well b) stop taking her calls
Admittedly, neither helps the situation. Not really. One is certainly healthier, but neither changes the fact that she's still the new version of herself. The one that's hard for you to relate to. The one with the new face that's hard to recognize
Photo Credit: sunnyskyz.com
But sometimes when I'm brushing my teeth before bed, I spot changes to my own face. Are my laugh lines multiplying? Is my furrowed brow growing deeper? Maybe I should whiten my teeth? Is that (another) gray hair?
I see things a bit more clearly
I've changed too
— —
I've thought about the two friends from rehab off and on over the years.
I wonder about the woman who didn't have the surgery. Was she jealous? Did she feel left behind? Lied to, as if the scars of the past no longer defined beauty. Did she wonder if their friendship was built upon something that never truly existed?
Was this a season of life where they were brought together to offer help to each other before both moving on? Offering words of wisdom that the other needed to hear? Or a valuable lesson the other should already have already known?
I'm not sure it's any of those
I've come to believe that she simply couldn't recognize her friend anymore. Nor could she recognize her own self in the face of her friend. She could no longer look into the eyes of a battle-scarred soul who fought for gratitude and a new life as hard as she did.
She could only see a woman who wanted out; who wanted better
And perhaps that's the only way to accept the change in someone you still love. Accept that your definitions of “better” are simply different
Be thankful for the season you've had together and the lessons learned. Like how to show up for your life. How to show up for someone else's. How to rise above the circumstances you can't control, and those you can, but know you shouldn't. How to know the difference between the two. How to bite your tongue. How to parent with grace. How to offer kindness and love
The mirror has two faces
Neither stays the same forever
Along with a trip to the fair, a backyard BBQ with friends is also on our agenda this weekend. I'm in charge of the pasta salad.
Pasta salads really get a bad rap. I find that the more I think of them as warm (or room temperature) summer dishes, and the less as mayo-slicked bowls of suspicion, the more inviting they become. Not only for cookouts and picnics but a beautiful Wednesday night
I started with an artichoke sauce we’ve loved and built from there.
Next, grilled, roasted, or sauteed veggies really turn a pasta salad into a great lunch or dinner, without the aggressive crunch of raw. The summer months are teeming with great produce, and we should take advantage. I've also discovered that the more exceptional the vegetable, the more you can dial back the proportion of pasta; should you and carbs be wary of each other right now
Finally (this might just be me), but my favorite thing is going to a store that offers a great selection of pasta shapes, and picking something funky. The best kind here will be short, easily stabbed with a fork, and have pockets where the nubby bits of sauce can hide out.
When it's finished, take it outside somewhere. Pasta salad is made for plates on your lap, picnic benches, and colored plastic cups with condensation along the outside. But most of all, they're meant for someone to share them with
Enjoy!
xoxo
~ Adapted from The New Enchanted Broccoli Forest by Mollie Katzen
Warm Artichoke Pasta Salad with Mushrooms and Greens
Ingredients
- 12 oz small pasta (any shape)
- olive oil
- 1 medium-sized onion, chopped fine
- ¾ lb mushrooms, chopped
- fine grain sea salt + freshly ground black pepper
- 1 ½ tsp dried thyme
- 1 tsp dried sage
- ½ - ¾ lb kale, spinach, (or any kind of green), cleaned and chopped
- 3-4 large cloves garlic, minced
- ¼ cup white wine (veggie and chicken broths, or even water are great substitutes)
- 1 Tbsp spelt flour (or any kind of flour you have on hand)
- 2 (6 oz) jars marinated artichoke hearts or crowns, cut into bite-sized pieces (save the liquid, you'll use it too)
- 6-8 leaves fresh basil, chopped fine
- 3-4 Tbsp milk (any nut milk or coconut milk would be a great substitute)
- ½ cup grated Parmesan cheese, + more for serving
- Optional add-ins
- peas
- roasted asparagus
Instructions
- Cook the pasta according to the package directions and set aside
- In a large, deep skillet (or dutch oven) over medium heat, warm a glug of olive oil. Add the onion and sauté for a couple of minutes
- Add the mushrooms, thyme, sage, and a pinch of sea salt. Stir and cook for about five minutes, before adding the greens, garlic, and another pinch of sea salt
- Stir, cover and cook another 5 minutes over medium heat. Add the wine (broth or water) and wait until it bubbles
- Sprinkle in the flour and stir
- Add the artichokes to the skillet, along with all of the liquid from the jars
- Add a couple of grinds of black pepper, the basil, milk, and Parmesan cheese
- Add the cooked pasta, optional add-ins, and stir to combine
- Remove from the heat and serve, with additional Parmesan cheese sprinkled as garnish
95 Comments
psh, ali. you did it again. thankful for you put words to this painful and confusing issue! wrestling with it today (of all days) myself — this is timely and a gift to me 😉
I am all about pasta salad. It’s such a great dish. And who cares what others say about it??? I just love it. As for the friendship piece you have here, I am just very sad. Not only because of the sad story that it is. But because of the sadness that it reminds me of in my life. Dealing with the end of a difficult marriage was hard. My friends came along but it’s not the same. Because I had spent the previous 10 years with someone who encouraged disconnection from my relationships. And we never were really good at building “couple friendships.” And what few we had were people from her past and not mine. I got lost somewhere in there. I have reached out to try to establish some reconnections, but I haven’t always been good about it. But you are right that it takes time and effort.
This is so tough. I’ve been blessed with long-lasting friendships in my adult life, a few that have gone by the wayside, and virtually none that survived high school. Some days I dwell on all of it, others I remind myself I can only live the life that’s right for me and support my friends (current and past) in the same. Hugs, Ali!
the question is, what do we do now?
this, along with your timing, was perfect.
This post speaks much more well-thought out words than I’ve ever been able to put on my own changed friendship. My emotions so often get in the way of trying to think about it in healthy ways.
What I really want is for you to write a follow-up post that tells me exactly what my relationship with this friend should look like. Right now, we keep trying to connect, but our times together feel shallow and fragmented. I don’t think either of us wants to give up, but we’re not sure where that leaves us.
So, you’ve got that solution, right? 🙂
Regardless, thank you. It’s encouraging to know that others out there have similar struggles!
I relate to this so much! I feel like all my friends are changing or have changed and I’m the same person that I was when we started…or maybe we took different paths when we got to the fork in the road. It sucks and sometimes I sort of feel alone because no one around me shares the thoughts and feelings that we once all had…it’s tough.
Friends have come and gone. Sometimes it has been my life that has changed and sometimes other way around. Life goes on and all works out
It is hard bumping into someone you were once close to I always find, it’s quite awkward. Though my mind often wonders what those I am no longer in contact with are up to. Are they OK? How did their life go?
This post has come at a perfect time. I myself am dealing with something like this. My dearest friend and I have grown apart as adults, and it’s a really strange situation. This has definitely given me something to think about. x
I used to do Improv at the Second City Chicago. I always dreamed about being on Saturday Night Live and I had a lot of friends in the improv/comedy community. After a few years I decided I wanted to settle down and get married and have kids instead of pursing my dream. A lot of people kinda disowned me after that decision, but I love my kids and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Being a great friend takes time and effort, it also takes patience. Right now, we are in kind of an awkward situation with our best set of couples friends. The husband is away on assignment and they are living separate lives. He asked that we not talk with his wife, even though the wives are friends in their own right. They haven’t made anything Facebook official so we have no idea where they are at. All we can do for the friendship now is be patient and wait for their lives to come back to a place where they can include us again, in what ever fashion that may be.
Wow. That is a powerful story Alison. I think it is often that we get wrapped up in what we are dealing with and sometimes lose ourselves in what we want to find in our friends. Which is similar to what you said— that you don’t recognise the person anymore. I am glad you shared that! Definitely needed to hear it. XO
I can relate to this! For some reason it’s harder when you’re an adult because I always thought at this stage things would fall into place. Maybe sometimes things just don’t always fall into place no matter how old you are and what does fall into place is how we handle them.
Beautiful words as always Ali. I get so excited everytime you post. Your words are consistently beautiful x
I am with you on that, I always assumed everything would work out and be ok yet it still seems such a struggle with so much still not having clicked into place. which is a shame.
I wish I kept in touch with more friends from high school. I do however touch base with two close friends. A lot of my current friends are mom friends with kids that are the same age as mine.
I can relate to this. I had this 14 year old super best friendship with this girl, but she changed. Or she thought I changed so she changed, I don’t know which came first. All I realize was she moved away, I tried to reach her, and when finally I did, she wasn’t the girl I used to share everything with. I wanted to wish her the best, but all I can do now is closing eyes and ears to what she’s doing and pretending that my bff has died. So I can release all my expectations to her. Letting go is difficult but doesn’t mean we can’t.
I relate to this so much! I feel like all my friends are changing or have changed and I’m the same person that I was when we started…or maybe we took different paths when we got to the fork in the road. It sucks and sometimes I sort of feel alone because no one around me shares the thoughts and feelings that we once all had…it’s tough.
Over the years my friends have come and gone. it is so heartbreaking at times. I am, however, blessed with some lasting friendships as well. I do miss the friendship of my brother though, not sure we will ever get that back.
Friendships as adults are so much harder than when you’re kids. It seems like there’s so much more responsibility however, you get a lot more from the relationship!
This has resonated with me so much right now. A friend and I have grown apart in the last few months because of a guy and I don’t really know how to get back and part of me debates if I even want to after the way everything went down…it’s weirdly comforting that when it comes to friendships you’re not alone in the struggle.
This pasta salad looks so delicious. I had the a friend too when i was in highschool. After highschool, she avoid us her friends and did not talk to us since then. Some people do really changed.
This dish looks absolutely delicious. I think friendship is so important to us. I had a good friend I lost touch with, we grew apart and I hurt so much but then I realized we are at different places in life. One day, we might find ourselves on the same path again.
I wonder about those two friends in rehab after I read it. It might be that the other friend felt betrayed, with the promise of them being friends for the rest of their lives and then all of a sudden she’s alone. I do hope her life became better though. I also think of past friends, those that I used to be close to and then not anymore. I wish them all well. Thanks for the lovely pasta salad!
This looks absolutely delicious and doesn’t sound too difficult for me to make. I much prefer warm salads than cold, even during the summer months xx
Friendships change as the years go by. Funny for me, my best friends are the ones I had in my early teens. Life has given each of us our own challenges and no matter how much time passes the moment we see each other we just pick right up where we left without missing a beat. Conversations about the kids, our husbands, work pale in comparison to those about how much we miss each other and promises to get together again soon.
There are so many friends of mine that I wish I was still in touch with but couldn’t because either they moved on or I couldn’t keep up being at a long distance. However, there are friends that I am thankful for, who believed in our friendship and no matter how far I got they always found ways to check up on me making our bond stronger and one to last. I cherish those friends now and forever! It’s not that I talk to them every day but when I do it’s like I’ve always been talking. 🙂
I feel like this story is me! I have went through the same thing, with a friend I had so much fun with and then we just had a falling out! It was hard…very hard and some things were said, that I wish I could take back. It’s hard to bite your tongue, when you find out your ‘friend’ had said something about your family. I miss our times,…but I also know, it was for the best. I totally understand how you are feeling here, as I’ve seen it for myself. Great article!
Friends do come and go. You meet someone right now and become close with them and over the years as you continues your life apart, you have not forgotten each other no matter the distance, time and miscommunication. But there are some that you have forgotten forever for some reason.
I’m going through something like this right now; one of my closest girlfriends is dating a woman for the first time after being married for 8 years and a divorce she didn’t want. It’s just so strange because it seemed out of nowhere, I feel like I don’t know her anymore, but I still want the best for her. I just don’t know if this is the best.
I am lucky to have some lifelong friends in my life. There are many that have fallen to the wayside and I wonder about them every once in a while. I am a firm believer that people are in your life for a reason and when the reason is done they will leave again.
Friendships can be challenging! Often we have friends who are in our lives for a short period of time (perhaps to teach us something?) If we’re lucky, we have friends who are there for the long haul.
I sometimes wonder myself if those friendships that you see in movies actually do exist in real life as well. Is there someone who would leave everything and come to share a glass of wine at 2am because you need a friend? Or, as we grow old, we change our priorities and we change our focus from a passionate friendship to an acquaintance -more like one? I moved to a new country 5 years ago and I still don’t have any friends here… and sometimes I wonder, it is me that is the problem or people have figured out everything by this age and have no need for new people in their lives?
It’s so funny how friendships change for us over the years. The older I get, I realize the real friendships are the ones I keep up with, the ones that change with me. It’s just how life works I guess.
Can be awkward when you run into someone you were once close and did all kinds of things together. Life changes, people changes and you lose that closeness. Make polite conversation and move on knowing you won’t see them again.
Sometimes it can be hard to rekindle old friendships, sometimes people move on for a reason but there’s always hope to once again be close x
Friendships are a tricky thing. I’ve been bummed before when we’ve gone separate ways, but then I tell myself that there must be a reason for that and usually, if the friendship meant a lot to me, I’ll try to reconnect once, but if it still doesn’t work out, then I let it be and concentrate on my current frienships. Also, the recipe looks simple and delicious!
This dish looks absolutely delicious. Friendship is important because we can tell about our problems, we are going to be there when we have problems,stories and humors.
Friendship is a funny old thing, you do not necessarily get back what you put in. People do grow apart and at times can re-connect as you have said. A true friendship one near or far will last a lifetime.
You make an interesting point here. I agree that with casual friendships, friends that are there just for a season once those things that brought you together change it’s hard to keep up. But when it comes to real friendships it does not matter how much people change or reinvent themselves, the memories shared and the love keeps you together: real friendships for me are more like family, the family I chose. 🙂
I have been feeling the same way lately about some friendships. It’s amazing how we grow and change, especially as we become wives and mothers. It can change things so much. I love having friends that have been there through it all, but ‘new friends’ are nice as well!
Friendship is definitely work and if you are putting in all the work and getting nothing in return, it’s time to move on. It can hurt, but by them not reciprocating, they are giving you the message that they are no longer interested:) By the way, LOVE Snoopy.
Yes we all want great friends and to be a great friend. But sometimes we just have to accept that we grow apart and to then suddenly re-connect a decade later. And sometimes not.
This looks amazing! I love warm or wilted salads. I just think they taste so good!
Friendship is a real relationship that requires communication and will to make it work on both sides. That said, sometimes it just doesn’t survive the years of our lives and their changes. I personally only kept true friends I can count on my hand, many, many, many have come, and go.
I love artichoke dip so I imagine this pasta is delicious. I’m. It a mushroom gal but I’m down for everything else.
As adult I don’t have a ton of time for friends but we make sure we catch up and check in. That might mean brunch or a play date with the kids.
It’s always hard when friends grow apart. We don’t all take the same road through life, so we sometimes lose friends along the way.
My high school best friend moved away and we hardly see each other now. I mean we are still connected in our social media accounts but there is less chats, less updates. I know she is busy caring for her husband who had a heart bypass surgery. We were like sisters before, but now I feel like we are distant cousins. My college besties and I have gone separate ways too. 3 are living abroad, 3 (including me) are so busy with our own lives that we’re lucky to connect through messenger at least once a month. Although we all may not be together physically, the bond of friendship never wanes. No words needed. It is the heart that speaks.
I never had much luck with friendships and it’s definitely not something that I “have to have” to be happy – shoot, they are almost more of a hindrance than anything. LOL
Like for example, if my friend wants to go do something, it always seems like such a pain because I have to STOP what I’m doing, get dressed (after spending an hour trying to figure out what to wear) do my hair, makeup etc. then go and hang out for a bit, spend money I don’t have and come home – and for what? To make small talk where she does nothing but talk about herself, her family, her kids (did I say herself? ) etc etc etc and for her to beg you for some money?
I feel like anything we could have said could have been done over the phone in less than 30 minutes instead of wasting a whole day. I don’t know I don’t have kids that I want to get away from and I do have a husband who I would MUCH rather spend my time with than any female but I guess that’s just me. I’m content with chatting with my friends via text or online and spending my marriage time with my husband. We got some devastating news recently so our time together is even MORE special.
Now, if I were single, I probably would feel a little bit different but for now, my best friend is my husband without a doubt!
Friendship is actually a tough ride, I lost so many as I moved from school to college to job. I met many, made some very good ones and then later the life’s paths changed, some people changed and we just moved out. But at every moment, we need handful of true friends in life whichever path we have chosen. I cherish friends and tis post was beautifully written.
Friendship is definitely hard and you need to continue to work on it for it to be able to grow and flourish. I do not have a lot of friends that I can count on to, but those who I can, I cherish them deeply. Thank you for sharing, this post is very well written
It’s a strange situation, running into someone you used to be very close with. I definitely agree with your general sentiments on pasta salads in general. I think I’d like an alternative like this.
What a beautiful combination of sharing a receipe and a story on friendship. It is very emotional that friendship which was like two bodies with one soul before now changed. Sometimes circumstances or situations we go through change ourselves and we loose our basic relations. Beautifully you have described the change in friendship.
I relate myself to this post, my all college friends are busy with their job or family stuff, its hard now to catch up in weekends, we’re no more same as we were before because our life’s paths totally changed now. The salad recipe is awesome, as a fitness freak ill not use Pasta in it 🙂
Friendship can be a tricky thing. I have a friend that I’ve known since I was 17 & we can go long periods of time without talking & pick up like no time has passed. I have another friend who was one of my best friends, but chose her relationship over our friendship & only called when they were having issues (she literally went more than a year without asking about me or my life when she called/texted). She apologized for her behavior once that relationship ended, but we’re not very close anymore. I’ve evolved as a person a lot over the last few years & sometimes we just don’t connect with others the way we once did. It can be a sad thing, but we don’t always take the same people with us on our journey. It’s not necessarily anyone’s fault; it just happens.
Ahhhh, that made me hungry! I’ve never eaten artichoke though, I’ve only put it in vegan mac and cheese once.
Don’t worry.. We all change.. People come into your life as a blessing, a lesson or a lifetime. The universe will do it’s thing in order to show you what certain people are here for 🙂
I absolutely loved your post, it brought back so many memories of of long lost friends,who once upon a time were such important part of my life. As we grow opd get into family life.. kids, husband and other chores our friends are left. And since i have relocated to new country it had made the matter worse. But thanks to social media i have got in touch with my old school and college friends.
This post is so spot on as far as where my train of thought has been this past weekend. It’s like you’ve read my mind! It’s always difficult when people change, even in small ways it can really impact a friendship.
Having to go through losing a friend emotionally lately makes this post close to the heart. I just felt alone after it and even if we have been through a lot together, I really felt that she is a different person now.
You are so right. Friendships take a lot of work on both sides. I have made some great friendships over the years and the effort was worth it. To be a good friend you must have time to nurture the relationship.
I loved the way you beautifully blend the story and recipe. I found it innovative. I got lost in your words. And you know, they say if you’re not losing friends you’re not growing up. It really is a part of life. It needs a lot of time and effort to nurture any relationship.
I thought having many friends was important when I was young, I learned the hard way a few better was better than many poor. I don’t have any friends from my childhood now. addictions of any type can change everyone involved.
I was confused at first but i stuck through and i got it. Sigh i think we all go through the friend that we had that we were so close with but they made a decision that was good for them ofcourse and we end up being in our feelings about it . I mean how could they not think about our feelings. I am currently here at the moment. So it’s nice to know i am not alone in this feeling. Pasta looks delicious by the way.
I have had very little real connections in my life as most people and I do not mesh well. I have always been the type to expect more out of everyone and a lot of the times I set them up to fail, which they all inevitably do. The only female friend I have ever had that has always been there, thousands of miles away as she has been since we were kids when I moved away although she is still my friend and the other is my husband, who shares my thoughts on most people falling short as well. We like to keep to ourselves when possible and avoid interactions with others because of our history we know it is pointless to give out more chances.
Friendship has it’s own weird challenges.. growing apart is the difficult one…I am not saying I fully understand your situation but like you have experienced…my experiences have also made me grow out specially with school friends
After a lifestyle change, this post hits close to home. I’ve learned change and growth is inevitable… friends supporting that growth is a different story.
Your post made me cry like a baby. It had to be so difficult to write…so many memories & emotions. Friendships can be tough. Thank you for sharing with us. xoxo
Wow! This is really thought provoking. I think sometimes for our own sake, we have to do the best we can with the friendship we still have. Yes, people can change but sometimes just because your circumstances are different, doesn’t mean you can’t still love each other the same. I think that both parties have to try for the sake of their friendship and if it’s just not meant to be, then there will be many signs that will let them both know. However, I never believe in not trying.
I really loved this post! I love the quote, ” you meet people for a season or reason.” I find that to be so true. All friendships are great and valuable no matter how long they last or how confusing they were.
I just love to eat pasta salad. However, I don;t like mushrooms!!
It’s such a great dish. And seriously, I don’t care what others say, I just eat. And friendship is the greatest thing after-all. I loved your posts a lot!
Awe, this makes my heart hurt a little. I do in some ways still mourn for friendships that have died… some I let die. Some people come into our lives to just be passing through, others stick around. I try to focus on the ones who do stay and who I know I will have in my life until the end. I know even for myself I’m a passer by in some people’s lives and that’s okay too. *big hugs*
I love cooking but I have actually never made artichokes (I think they are quite uncommon where I live, South Africa), but hope fully with this recipe I could give it a go! Your photography is really beautiful in your posts, food is not an easy thing to photograph but you manage to make it look amazing.
Your discussion on friendship really hits close to home. I have been on a rollercoaster ride of friendships since high school. You’re right, you can’t always get everything you want in one friendship – nobody’s perfect. It’s taken me awhile to realize what I want in a friendship and I’ve picked out my weeds as I approached my thirties.
I have a handful of friends. No friendship is perfect. It really can’t be. I like to keep my circle small but I believe everyone who comes into our life is not meant to stay forever. We are supposed to learn from each other, change, grow and then move on our own paths. Some people stay forever but most in different directions.
This is one of my fav. posts on friendship – http://www.manrepeller.com/2016/02/maintaining-friendships.html
We love a good yummy pasta salad but I have never tried it with artichoke before. This looks like a healthy and nutritious salad. I’m going to try making it.
I had a friend when i was in high school. She was actually my best friend. But I found out that she is fighting back at me. So I decided to let her go.
I had this happen with my very best friend. She got married younger so I shared with her the birth of her children, I became an extra aunt. The I got married and when I was pregnant she lost a few children before birth and I had a healthy pregnancy.
Because they asked that friends who had new babies not come around for a while I didn’t. I respected that. But apparently in not coming by they were also offended. I tried to apologize for what I didn’t know I didn’t do and it became the one where we stopped “taking each other’s calls” even though we never called.
It’s horrible and hard. but sometimes things happen that do change people forever and it’s not our fault. It just happens and we have to move on unfortunately.
Moving on from friendships is very hard. However, friendships are not always meant to be long term, sometimes they’re only in our lives for a period of time for a certain reason.
I guess that the women who did not get surgery done was probably miffed that her friend no longer kept her scars as a symbol of their battle together. Maybe they grew apart because it was the scars that had kept them together. It is sad when friendships grow apart but sometimes it is for the best. On another note I love artichokes especially with pasta and greens x
Friends come and go in some point in our life and I think not everyone is meant to stay together for long. We learn lessons from their life stories and that’s it. We may rekindle a few good relationships but it could be hard to reconnect and be that friend you once knew years ago.
This is a great post in relation to friendship and meals. It’s hard to keep up with friends once you get married, have kids, and a job. I’ve lost some friends due to this. I wish sometimes I would have stopped and taken the extra time just to maybe call or catch up everyone once in awhile.
The season of friends that come and go. It’s hard!! It bites! Why is it so easy for us to give our children friendship advice, yet things like this occur and it can stop us in our tracks. Oh how I have been there! And the two friends from rehab, what an interesting story! I am sure it just feels like the person who gets to erase the past is selling out… but would you carry the baggage forever if you did not have to? This has me thinking….
I personally think friendship is really a difficult but meaningful bond between two people. It’s difficult because with smallest things you can easily lose one another even though you knew them more than 3-4 years. I love all the photos and quotes you have, it’s so relatable and cute. Also the dish looks delicious. I love pasta.
I have had best friends, really good ones but sadly, we all got married, started our own families and moved away. Although there are a few times that we connect through social media, nothing compares with meeting them again, just like old times, having coffee, sharing stories, and catching up with each other’s lives. I miss my dearest friends – Jocelyn, Liza, and Therese.
I have had good friends and always some pretty bad friendships. I think if it is a good friendship then It will last of ever If not it was not a real friendship.
It’s so awkward when you see someone you used to be friends with isn’t it. It’s sad how we can grow apart from people we were once so close to, I guess we change through our lives and some people just don’t fit together any more.
So true! We all want to have a great friend but we have to be a great friend as well. Of course, people change when they grow up and start having different interests – sometimes the friendship stays, sometimes not. I have a friend or had a friend with whom we were very closed to, but we moved to different countries and somehow lost the connection. Years later when we met again thre was somekind of fence in between us. I still don’t know why or what had happened – the friendship just drifted away.
It was interesting to read your stories while looking at the pleasing pasta salad. But it is so melancholy that I didn’t know what to write. Dis-connected friendships. Friends who grew apart and didn’t try to stick by you.
A close friendship claims a large part of our life and when it is suddenly stopped or ripped away, it is just the same to have one’s heart broken. But as much as we need to take responsibility for being better friends, quite a few factors surrounding friendship are out of our control. True to this quote “The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.”
Friendships are just like relationships, they are so rewarding yet also so complicated. I’ve mended broken friendships before, and it starts with communication (and also swallowing your pride). Reach out, take the first step 🙂
I enjoy your posts and following you on Instagram. You foods looks soooo good.
Ohh what a read! I didnt expect this when I clicked on the pasta salad photo (which looks delicious btw). I know how it feel having an old friend you are longing for but you know it wouldnt be the same because something has changed between you. I have one friend in particular that I think of quite often. We were very good friends for many years but the problem is that Ive changed but she hasnt.
I hope though someway somehow you will one day get to laught with her again!
Moving on from friendship, relationships are really hard. Going apart from the people who were once so close to you is such a pain. I can’t understand Why people forget everything. Your pasta salad is mouth watering.
This was such a lovely read. I have never read a blog post that was a blend of a recipe & lifestyle tips/thoughts/honest chit chat. Absolutely loved it. Things have changed between my close friend and I since I moved to a different country a few years ago. Having spent every day together, we barely talk. I always initiate a Skype call and she’s always busy… It’s not easy…
xox Nadia
Ive tried so much veg etc growing up veggie but oddly I have never tried an artichoke aha! This recipe looks so great though, I am in love with pasta at the moment
Wow! This is the first time I am here on your blog, and this is the first post I read. Was it a delicious recipe I read, or an emotional ride? Excellent job. I love pasta, but my husband loves it even more. So I’m going to try this recipe for him.