There's a black t-shirt
at the bottom of my closet ..
Photo Credit: Tumblr.com
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it's one of my favorite possessions
It hides a heart on the bottom side of the tag. A message only I know. Penned nearly three years ago .. on the night my husband (to be) gave it to me. The threads are worn and faded .. its red letters beginning to chip .. and every time I wear it .. I can't help but feel
This is love
Legend has it ..
It all began on a random night in 1981(!) Back in the good old days when MTV only played music videos and the way to order something was via a good old-fashioned phone call. He and a college buddy drank a beer or three into the wee hours of the am. The offer along the bottom of the screen? An awesome t-shirt for anyone who placed an order for the latest Rolling Stones' LP
He'd kept it all of these years
A nod to a romance I knew was right .. it signified everything I knew love to be .. kindness .. generosity .. trust .. compatibility. True confessions? When he went home that night .. I signed it with a sharpie and sealed it with a kiss .. my silent declaration of commitment.
Sometimes I second-guess myself as I look back over the years .. and my many attempts at love. Did I have it all wrong? In my twenties it looked a lot like dinner burning in the oven .. two toddlers underfoot .. finishing a college degree .. miles logged pushing a baby stroller .. and summer afternoons at the kiddie pool
In my thirties .. it looked like building a career .. as well as a house. Weekends on gymnasium bleachers watching junior high sports .. and many visits to yet another rehab center. As the decade drew to a close .. thankfully .. I loved myself enough to finally get it right
Well into my forties .. Have I only begun to scratch the surface?
If there's anything I know for sure .. No matter the decade .. no matter the circumstance .. I've always felt a gentle tug on my heart .. and my life. An invisible pull of my spirit .. a calling to something greater than myself .. in environments that have often demanded I'm at my most vulnerable.
Looking back at all of my stumblings .. at all of my successes .. and so many failures .. I've begun to wonder if maybe I'd had it right all along. That love shouldn't be measured by the standards offered by the world .. instead gifting myself permission to define it for myself
Love is a choice. It's what you've tried .. what you see .. what you treasure .. what you do. It's real. It's every day. It's right here. It's right now. It's faith .. anxiety .. imbalance .. imperfection .. joy .. sorrow .. and endurance
Love is a card in the mailbox of a friend .. a bright spot in their day. Love is a lunch invitation .. to celebrate a first house. Love is caring deeply for a pet. Love is snow-blowing (all!) of your neighbor's sidewalks. Love is sharing your garden's produce. Love is attempting to repair relationships. Love is sharing recipes from afar. Love is kitties chasing mice in the middle of the night .. and loads of laundry. Love is coaching someone to be their best self. Love is creating a happy home .. for everyone who visits.
As it was this weekend .. Love is also a birthday cake .. along with the celebration of beautiful friendships
I absolutely love this cake
It's intensely chocolatey and rich .. with a fudgy, moist center .. along with the appearance of something that's quite difficult to make (it's not). It's filled with all natural ingredients .. without gluten or dairy (if using coconut oil instead of butter)
A spectacular .. elegant .. high-end finish to the best of the best meals .. special celebrations .. and everything in-between
The cake tastes best with good quality chocolate .. and is just that much better with a pinch of sea salt. A sprinkling of organic powdered sugar along with fresh berries over the top makes it that much prettier
The original recipe calls for an orange-infused taste with orange zest and juice added to the batter .. though in other versions I've substituted a few dashes of peppermint oil instead. While both are nice additions in their own right .. they've been received much in the way of a good Hollywood remake.
Nice .. but can we please bring back the original?
Enjoy!
xoxo
( ** Note from Ali: This post originally appeared in February 2015. I originally set out to update the pictures .. but decided an updated post was in order for those who maybe haven't ventured through the archives. Enjoy!)
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~ Adapted from Baking Illustrated: A Best Recipe Classic
- 8 large eggs
- 1 pound bittersweet (or semi-sweet) chocolate, coarse chopped
- 16 Tbsp unsalted butter, cut into ½ inch pieces
- ¼ cup strong coffee, at room temp
- Confectioner’s sugar or unsweetened cocoa powder (optional)
- To Serve
- Organic Powdered Sugar, Fresh Berries, Greek Yogurt, or Whipped Coconut Cream
- Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and heat oven to 325
- Grease the bottom of a springform pan, line with parchment paper, then grease the side
- Wrap the outside of the pan with 2 18-inch square pieces of aluminum foil, set in roasting pan.
- Bring kettle of water to a boil
- Using a stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, whip the eggs on medium speed until doubled in volume, about 5 minutes
- Meanwhile, combine the chocolate, butter, and coffee in a large heatproof bowl set over a saucepan filled with one inch of barely simmering water, making sure that the water doesn’t touch the bottom of the bowl. Stirring once or twice until the chocolate and butter are melted and the mix is very warm (should be about 115 degrees)
- Using a large rubber spatula, fold one-third of the egg foam into the chocolate mix until a few streaks of egg are visible. Fold in the remaining foam in 2 additions until the mix is totally homogenous
- Transfer the batter to a prepared springform pan and smooth the top with a rubber spatula.
- Set the roasting pan on the oven rack and pour enough boiling water into the roasting pan to come about halfway up the sides of the springform pan
- Bake until the cake has risen slightly, the edges are just beginning to set, and a thin glazed crust (like brownie crust) has formed on the surface, and cake registers 140 degrees. (~ 22 to 25 min)
- Remove springform pan from the water bath and set on wire rack; let cool completely
- Wrap springform pan tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled, at least 4 hours or up to 4 days. (Cake can be wrapped in an additional layer of foil and frozen for up to 1 month. If frozen, let the cake thaw in the refrigerator for 24 hours before proceeding with the next step
- About 30 minutes before serving, run a thin knife between the cake and the side of the pan; remove side of pan
- Invert cake onto a sheet of parchment and discard parchment on the bottom of the cake
- Reinvert the cake onto a serving platter, discarding parchment
- Dust with confectioners’ sugar, if using, and serve
- ** Note: Even though the cake may not look done, pull it from the oven when it registers 140 degrees. It will continue to firm up as it cools
- If you use a 9-inch springform pan instead of the preferred 8-inch pan, reduce the baking time to 18 – 20 minutes.
- Serve with whipped cream or fresh berries
% Protein: 2
% Carbs: 34
% Fat: 35
58 Comments
Thank you for this, in many ways.
this looks amazing! I bake a lot but have never gone flourless before. I will have to try it! Also that picture of the couple on the bike is adorable!
Heather .. thank-you so much!
Ali
I couldn’t refrain from commenting. Very well written!
Your perspective on love is brilliant! You are very right, love shouldnt be measured by the standards of the world. I can see a lot of love went into that delicious looking cake!
I have just turned 50 this year, and going through the decades your view on life and love does change, and you have summed it up perfectly, love is so many different things. And thank you for the cake recipe I have been wanting to bake a flourless cake for ages x
Your post about love touched me deeply. You wrote it beautifully – and I found pieces of my own life and experiences in it. You find love in the little things in life. You find love in helping others. And I have to admit, this cake looks delicious and lovely but I think I love your post even more. Thank you for sharing!
Awww, what a sweet story. Love that you have the tshirt and still treasure it.
You have come a long way for sure. Love is so many things. I am trying to work on my baking skills. They seem to get better every year.
What a nice reminder. Love is indeed all these things. That it is deep and complex, yet so incredibly simple. It’s within reach and holds infinity. I’m celebrating that black shirt, the one with the red heart under the tag. The one that reminds you just how worthy you are to be you! And you know what? That cake looks like the perfect celebration of love! xoxo
This seems more like a fudge cake than a traditional cake! (all the better in my opinion). Cocoa powder often can act as flour in recipes but I suppose it would be pretty bitter to substitute it 1:1. That’s such a cute story about the shirt and your husband, I hope I have such a treasured possession from someone I love one day.
Some may see a t-shirt while others see a precious gift. I really enjoy your story-telling. Your recipe for the delicious flourless chocolate cake is simply the icing on this post. Well done!
It’s nice that you still are actively realizing life failures and lessons after 40. Love is a choice, and so are so many other things in life. Everything comes down to our decisions, and these will shape our future. I’d love to try that flourless dark chocolate cake recipe!
So beautifully you have defined love, love is sharing garden’s produce, attempting to repair relationships, indeed all the lines in the para were so true. Love doesn’t needs Platinum earrings as a gift, even a small tee with the love makes a difference. With all the love I get to feel with this yumm cake:)
My husband still has an Old Navy shirt that I gave him when we were teenagers. This was many years ago to say the least! He has it in his closet and says that he will never get rid of it.
These pics make that pie look so easy to eat right through the screen. I don’t have any sentimental tees, but do often find letters and cards from loved ones in the bottom of my closet, It’s the little things like that which make life so priceless.
I am excited for what is to come in my late 30’s, I feel like with every birthday I learn something new about myself and what my goals are. This cake looks simply divine. We have a family dinner next weekend, I am supposed to bring dessert…I am totally making this. My whole family are chocolate lovers so this is perfect.
You do have a perspective of life, to be frank.
My wife also things along similar lines.
She feels love and food have a few similarities.
Both need care, nurture and you need to pour your heart into them for them to really flourish!
Not quite understand that but love the pastries, so can’t complain:)
I just recently turned into my thirties and I am excited on what to look forward to. More travel and adventures for me! The chocolate cake is one of my favorites and I am still new to cooking and baking. Such a great recipe to try on. I hope I can also successfully make one.
This year I will bid goodbye to the calendar, and I find it more special. Age is just a number, and what more importants are how many memories we collected through the years.
Indeed. Love is so many things and, like fine wine, it tastes better when treasured longer. As for that dangerously delicious looking cake. I can almost taste it even though I’ m not a chocolate cake girl.
I totally agree, love is in us everyday. Its how we express even in simple things, simple ways — even in a slice of chocolate cake specially for someone like me that is not an expert in baking – but I put an effort on making this one. I am sure my family will feel the effort and love I will put on it. Thanks for sharing.
Ah I love this. Love is so many things and I think as we grow it evolves too. Chocolate cake is a sure sign of love for me, my husband knows the way to my heart!!
This is such a sweet post. It’s true that perspectives do change depending on what season of life we’re living. This cake is gorgeous. I can’t believe it’s flourless. I’d be happy to have it for a birthday cake. 🙂
Sometimes your posts actually make me want to cry. You always write what I’m thinking. I think we could actually be really good friends if we lived close to each other! I do understand that love really is a choice and it shouldn’t be measured by standards of any sort. I believe love is everything that comes from your real self. Your own true heart. It’s ultimately very unselfish.
It looks delicious and a very well thought out recipe. I’ve never tried backing such a complicate cake but I have a feeling I could pull this one off with your detailed instructions. I wouldn’t have considered leaving in the refrigerator for 4 days, I was thinking it might deteriorate the freshness a little, but obviously now. Thanks for the tips!
Life is a continuous learning process. I am way past my 40s and I am still learning from past experiences and applying it in the present time. Failed relationships are like Algebra lessons – If you can’t figure out your X, then start asking Y. 🙂
So I’ve always said that telling someone that you love them is a very selfish thing, unless you actually put action to it. And that action is followed with a respect. Like you said, you will fall many times and seem like you can’t get it right. But love is a wonderful journey to have in your life, in all aspects. This is a beautiful post and that’s a gorgeous cake to fit it!
Such an inspiring post! It is very interesting how we change through the years and what love really means to us. I can see you put a lot of love into this cake and this post.
xoxo,
Gabi
Love is one of those things you just have to trust your heart on. There is no right or wrong – you just have to go along for the ride.
I did not really and trulu experience love until I became a parent, as much as my toddler drives me insane they love i Have for her and love that i never knew I even had, grows more and more each day.
This is so sweet. Love is an adventure, that’s for sure. And I agree, love is also cake. I do love my cake.
I have to agree with you on love. It shouldn’t be measured by the standards offered by the world. I made a flourless cake once but it didn’t turn out at all. Your recipe looks easy.
You’ve come a long way. I’ve been thinking along the same lines as I’ll be 40 in a couple of weeks. I may even make this cake to celebrate. I experienced love in my 20’s and I knew when I saw my husband he was the one. I was 23! OMG! Where has the time gone?!
Love is the answer to this world’s hate. I know that it is not going to happen the way I would want it to, but even if one more person loves it can spread like wild fire!
Love has such many ways. The form of love changes over the years. I’m pretty old but still have difficulties in loving myself. Sometimes I feel that I am enough for myself but am I enough for other people – don’t know. A birthday cake is love!
To me love is when some one shows it in the littlest ways such as sharing their last chocolate bar, helping you with the grocery bag that is too heavy to carry up the stairs or just being there when you need them. Of course if someone baked me a yummy chocolate cake like yours It could definitely mean they Love me. Lol
This is beautiful – and you’re spot on I think. We can spend so much time envisioning what love “should” look like that we often skip right over what it is. Thank you for sharing your story and your decadent looking recipe!
I have never been in love but there has been many times where I have thought that I have been in love. Like you said love can mean different things at different ages and considering everything that you have been through , you deserve happiness . I am so pleased you found your partner x
Such a beautiful post Allison. Love is definitely a choice that involves action. Love is a verb where you make things happen. It’s not something that happens to us. Attraction does that. And it seems like you are on the right path now. Plus that cake looks absolutely sinful. Wow.
Looks like chocolate by death. Rich and creamy looking.
Love is so many things. You really captured the feelings of it through the ages here on this post.
I love the sentiment behind this post. How we define love can change from person to person and even from time to time. I love that the shirt means so much to you. This chocolate cake sounds amazing!
What a beautiful cake. It looks so wonderfully rich and chocolaty and dense.
I’ve always wondered how you can make a cake without flour. I’m going to have to try this.
Wow, flourless? That looks amazing for flourless! It looks so fudgy and rich! I want a slice right now!
Priorities do change over time and it’s nice to see you reminiscing those times. The flourless dark chocolate cake can really looks so tasty and can make a good snack or dessert.
I love, love. It was pure and simple in my early 20’s. As I near 40 it has evolved but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Love is so much more than we know to be true, love is caring and this cake definitely would show ones love for the other.
All I needed to read was dark chocolate. This recipe looks so fancy, but it is pretty do-able!
Oh my gosh, you had me at dark chocolate! Its looks so decadent and has me craving for some right about now 🙁
xx, Kusum
Love…yes it is so precious and so sacred. I like the way this post was written and I think at any age in life we can keep redefining our definition of love. As for that cake, gosh, looks so perfect. I have never tired a flourless cake.
I love the way you described love as it is the most eternal thing. Love can be found everywhere if we really want to feel it. I never baked Flourless cake, but after reading your post, I will definitely try it.
This is such a great story! I recently moved out of our family home, as my fiance and I haven’t being getting along as well as we used to. But we’re trying to work things out – it’s definitely not the end at the moment. Anyway, a couple of nights ago I was up at the house grabbing a few bits and bobs I wanted for the week ahead, and he got a rather old, battered looking piece of paper out of his wallet. I didn’t know what it was until he handed it to me. But it turned out to be a piece of paper I’d written ‘I love you’ on almost 12 years ago. It’s faded, but he still keeps it! It gave me real hope in a time I really needed it this week. I’m so glad he still has it 🙂
Louise x
That is a truly lovely post, so well written, straight from the heart. The chocolate cake also looks like it would bring so much in the way of enjoyment…you feed the stomach and soul so well!
Haha I love that comment about the good old days of when MTV used to actually play music videos! I don’t remember the last time I saw music videos on that channel. As a self-confessed chocoholic that cake looks like heaven, I think I know what I’m going to be trying to make for my Husband’s birthday now!
Love is what we all need and it comes to us many ways and forms over the period of time. Really enjoyed reading the way you expressed your thoughts. Good Job. And that cake is surely Love. 🙂
Wow, your words were captivating. Who knew you could muse about life, tell a story along with having your cake and biting it too! Yum!
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Good luck, forever onwards and beyond!