Burgers Florentine

Do you have the Disease to Please?

Video Credit: TerriCole.com

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Not long ago I was introduced to the work of Terri Cole, as part of the Lifestyle is the New Medicine Summit

She's a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and a well-known “coach to the coaches”  She's also an expert on helping people identify and understand how to overcome the fears (we all have) that are holding us back in life.

I really enjoyed listening to the perspective she brought

“Look around at the people in your life, and you'll know this is true.  There's a lot of emphasis, because it's socially acceptable for people to want to be physically healthy.  The past 30 years especially, from when Jane Fonda was feeling the burn in the '80s

Yoga has become mainstream, and these are the things we're focusing on.  What we're eating, everyone's green juicing, and nobody's eating gluten.  All of the emphasis is on behavior, which I think is great and certainly is important. But ..

If your mind isn't healthy, if you have ruminating thoughts, if you have a thought disorder, or are just psychologically unwell, you can have the fittest body in the world, and you still won't be happy

So my point in having the mental health portion be a considered portion all of the time, is having therapy be as mainstream as people going to yoga classes is now.  Because it's that important for people to actually be ..

holistically well”       ~ Terri Cole

It's been fun and interesting to read through her articles, especially those related to meditation, as well many others I've happened across as a participant in her course: Flip the Script on Fear

Admittedly, the Disease to Please garnered my attention.  When it comes to saying “no,” it's far from my strong suit.  Though over the past year, I've been actively working it, ever so slowly

Learning there is a difference between being a servant and being a martyr.  Learning some relationships leave me feeling depleted, and not everyone I know should be part of the circle of people I hold dear.

Learning, no matter how much I do for someone else, change can only come from inside of them.  Learning not every event needs to be attended, and it's pretty ok to have quiet days at home, studying, cooking, and writing

I've started to ask myself

If I do this ______ will it leave me with enough time and energy to _______?  So I can be the  _____ I want to be?

If I teach another class, will it leave me with enough time and energy to cook dinner for my husband?  So I can be the wife I want to be

If I take on one or two more people to coach, will it leave me with enough time and energy to answer their questions as thoughtfully as they deserve?  So I can be the coach I want to be

If I attend this event tonight, will it leave me with enough time and energy to finish the paper that's due tomorrow?  So I can be the student I want to be

If I accept this invitation for lunch, will it leave me with enough time and energy to get my afternoon walk in before work?  So I can be the me I want to be

Learning I can't show up for, and that I wasn't created to be a gift to everyone's world.  Instead, I can only be a gift to my world, to the people I love and treasure, as they are gifts to me.  If  ____ leaves someone I love with an empty box to unwrap at the end of the day, I've decided I'll have to

pass

As for the delivery, it's been tricky at times, though I'm finding my way

In some cases, for things I think I'd like to do, I've practiced maneuvering with a bit of clarification.  “Yes, but” which could really be a cousin of “No” yet seems a bit less selfish.  (ps:  I haven't decided if I'm only kidding myself here)

For example, if a friend asks if I'll be at her weekend event, instead of saying, “Of course, and I'll bake cookies too.”  I'll say “Sure, I can be there from 2:30 to 4:00, but if I need to pick the puppies up at daycare, I'll blow you a kiss as I rush the door.”

In other cases, I'm learning (or maybe simply accepting) that “No” can also be a sentence, if we'd like

(and it's pretty ok one too)

We love this burger.  It's packed with so many great flavors

It's been a great Vegetarian option at Spaghetti Saturdays (on the summertime occasions when the menu has included things from grill instead of comfort food)

The onions, walnuts, basil, spinach and cheddar cheese cooked inside this burger give it a taste to be reckoned with

Adding your favorite toppings only enhances their already appealing layers of texture and taste

Enjoy!

xoxo

ps:  More fun recipes and stories from Spaghetti Saturdays

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~ Adapted from East Lansing Food Co-op | March Newsletter