Lately

April 12, 2017

From midnight walks under the stars .. to the single tulip growing in the compose bin .. second day pot roast .. and pets that touch our hearts in places we didn't know we had.  A few things that have been happening in our world ..

lately

Feeling – Sad .. lost .. lonely .. and yet so very grateful.  After losing Z just a few short days ago .. we're letting ourselves simply live through the grief.  Nothing seems normal without his sniffles and snuffles.  I've lost my sweet shadow .. and friend

Smiling and Laughing – as people share favorite stories and photos of him

Holding on – tight.  I know that living in an attempt to avoid loss isn't really living.  Living in an attempt to circumvent fear isn't living.  Living in an attempt to sidestep death isn't living

And yet .. I still find myself tightening everyone's life jackets.  Calling to wonder about my children and their families .. adjusting my bike helmet again and again and again .. holding onto Harry and Sally's leashes with everything I have

Loving – my husband.  When we need him .. he's always there with a floppy ear scratch or a forehead kiss.  We're the luckiest

Surprised – by one of the most beautiful and thoughtful gifts I've ever received.  The Pet Resort commissioned a local artist to have a sketch of Wally made.  We all fought back a tear the day they gave it to me.

He watches over us from our living room's mantel

Knowing – Life doesn't fit into a square.  It's too big .. too unwieldy .. too achingly, maddeningly, beautiful

Sometimes (if we're lucky) we're able to catch the good in four corners or less.  When friends bring bread .. and drop a note inside the front door .. and deliver Tupperware brimming with chili.  When it's all over and sleep finally finds me .. these small squares make for the simplest .. tiniest symmetrical reminders

Thankful – for friends who show up with gelato + wine + big bear hugs

Cooking – from my latest cookbook .. Tartine All Day.  Stay tuned .. there are some really great recipes I'm excited to share

Looking forward to – water walking.  I bought my pool pass this week.  Hurry up June(!)

Inspired – by Z and his incredible love for life.  He brought joy to everyone he met .. was always happy .. and never knew a bad day

The reality is .. we all hold within ourselves the power to transform.  In ways big and small .. a room .. a year .. a life.  We have the power to make them hot or cold.  We can make our homes into caves or havens .. we can make our days stretch or snap

It is ours to decide .. and we must decide

The other day .. we all woke up in mopey moods.  The sky was grey and the forecast promised even more clouds ahead.  I puttered around per usual .. frying eggs .. vacuuming .. tidying up.  My responses were abbreviated and lifeless.  My husband carried a furrowed brow .. the puppies grew restless

Thankfully I caught myself .. and practiced a few deep breaths instead.  Spritzing rosewater on my face .. I willed myself to snap out of it.

“Set the tone.  Rise above.  You’re the grown-up.  Make it warm.  Inject some joy.  Please .. let's make him proud”

 

28 Comments

  • Reply Ana De- Jesus April 12, 2017 at 5:27 am

    Oh hun 🙁 so sad to hear about Z and the post I read that you had dedicated to him was the sweetest, I could see how much love you had for him as both a pet and as a friend. If you ever need to talk you know where I am, thinking of you xx

  • Reply Love You Wedding April 12, 2017 at 9:35 am

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain is just unbearable. I love that portrait of Z on your mantel. Such a fitting tribute to a best friend. Hugs!

  • Reply Tonya Wilhelm April 12, 2017 at 10:29 am

    I’m still so sorry for your loss. It breaks my heart. I really love the portrait. I just had a painting done of my dog. I love looking at it every day. <3

  • Reply Dee April 12, 2017 at 3:42 pm

    I am truly sorry for your loss! I have a ShiTzu and dread the day he leaves me, but I take comfort in knowing that I am giving him a good life and that he is a happy dog!

  • Reply Kathy Myers April 12, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    We have an older dachshund who has been a part of our life for 12 years now. He is our baby, I can’t imagine losing him. Sorry for your loss!

  • Reply Ellie April 12, 2017 at 5:21 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about your little Z! I know losing a furry friend I listen horrible but this post was a beautiful dedication to him.

    Ellie

  • Reply Kimberly c. April 12, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    Pets are like our kids. My cat is my first child. So sorry about your loss, but what always helps me is my faith
    .. knowing that it’s only temporary…. one day you will be reunited again.

  • Reply Victoria Lola April 13, 2017 at 1:48 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Ally, and I’m glad you’re getting back strong. And God bless those who have supported you one way or the other. He’s defi Italy watching over you and your family. Stay strong, dear xx

  • Reply Dogvills April 13, 2017 at 2:52 am

    This is so heartbreaking. It is hard to lose a pet especially if he has been with the family for a long time. I treat my Shih Tzu as if he was my youngest child and it would crush me to pieces if something bad happens to him. Hugs to you and hope you find comfort that he has crossed the rainbow bridge and is watching over you now.

  • Reply Vlad April 13, 2017 at 11:08 am

    I’m really sorry for your loss! Losing a dog really hurts 🙁

    And yes, you are so right, we have the power to do WHATEVER we want, we can make our days stretch or snap.. I just love this!

    Happy Spring! 🙂

  • Reply laura londergan April 13, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    ahhhh losing a pet is the worst and I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like he was sucha huge part of your day to day and I get that – as my dog is a huge part of my day to day and not sure what I will do without him one day. Hoping you can get to a point where all you do is smile when you think of him. =)

  • Reply Lindsey April 14, 2017 at 1:11 am

    I am so sorry to hear about Z, he was truly loved and cherished. It will get easier with time, but you have some happiness to look towards, your cook book which I know will be a huge success.

  • Reply Nora April 14, 2017 at 2:33 am

    Surprises, loving and cooking sound great! 🙂 We’ve also been cooking huuuge amount of smoothies because of my smoothie book project. I hope that I’ll publish my very first book during next winter-spring. Have a happy and delicious Easter!

  • Reply Karen Jolly April 14, 2017 at 3:07 am

    Oh! I feel sad reading your post. I had experienced it before and the day I lost my pet was really tragic, especially to my son who cried a lot that time 🙁

  • Reply Cassidy's Adventures April 14, 2017 at 11:30 am

    Thanks for the update. I am loving the photos of the flowers. And I look forward to your upcoming recipes. I’m still dying to try those tacos you shared on instagram.

  • Reply kathryn Maher April 14, 2017 at 12:43 pm

    Hey , I know what a loss a pet can be. They travel through a portion of your life with you and its so easy to forget that longevity is not on their side. We loved Sally the same way . She comforted the kids as toddlers, they snugged her and fell asleep and suddenly they were teenagers and they thought she’d be there forever…………. I’m so sorry for the loss of your great friend xxx

  • Reply Prateek Goel April 15, 2017 at 9:51 am

    I feel sorry for your loss… losing a pet is the worst . Dog looks awsome in your post! Even I have lost one few years back.. it was puppy!!

  • Reply Elizabeth O. April 19, 2017 at 8:34 pm

    I can only imagine what you’re feeling right now. It’s really going to be a little sad for a while because you lost someone that you loved so dearly. But that doesn’t mean that life won’t get better. Just take your time to grieve for now.

  • Reply Joanna April 20, 2017 at 7:56 am

    Unfortunately, when our pets go, they leave a huge emptiness in our souls. They are part of our family and it’s like we lose our children… I’ve been through this a few times and it’s so heartbreaking 🙁

  • Reply DR April 20, 2017 at 10:19 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Its a truly terrible thing to experience loss like this. I hope the joy you had when they were alive brings you through this time of darkness.

  • Reply Chelsea Elizabeth April 20, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss! I can’t even begin to imagine how you’re feeling. Pets are most definitely big important parts of the family.

    Thinking of you.

    http://www.chelsea-elizabeth.co.uk

  • Reply No Bland Makeup April 20, 2017 at 4:47 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately it doesn’t get better, but it does get easier. My dad told me once after my grandmother passed, just remember the good times.

  • Reply Erica April 21, 2017 at 8:07 am

    This post is absolutely beautiful in every way – from the first image to the message throughout. It’s obvious that Z had an incredible life with a family that truly loved him to the fullest. I am so sorry for your loss! I too am thankful that you have for friends who showed up with gelato + wine + big bear hugs – your tribe sounds like the perfect people to be surrounded with in the good times and bad.

  • Reply Anvita April 21, 2017 at 2:52 pm

    Sorry for your loss. Although I don;t have any pets but seems like you were super attached to your pet. Love how you ended the post on such a positive note.

  • Reply Roger Willis April 21, 2017 at 4:04 pm

    Sorry for the loss of your fur baby. We are no strangers to the loss of a beloved family pet. It saddens me to hear of a loss of a pet, as I wish for that pet to live forever; to continue to bring joy and happiness to the family….forever.

  • Reply David Elliott April 22, 2017 at 10:45 am

    I have heard that centering yourself to start your day is one of the most important things to do. This is figuring out a way to be present. I know I need to do that or things get off kilter.

  • Reply Sarah Bailey April 25, 2017 at 11:08 am

    So sorry to read about Z :(. It is so hard to loose a beloved pet. I’m glad you have some poitivity flying around as well.

  • Reply five little doves April 27, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    Oh gosh I am so sorry to read about your loss, that picture is gorgeous and so precious I’m sure. Much love.

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